Yesterday I was on my way to a meeting wherein I knew I would be asked to stand up and introduce myself and spend a couple of minutes describing what I do for a living. I had spoken to this group of about 40 executives in the past and most know who I am. Meetings like this are common for me and like I have for other meetings I used the drive time to think about and rehearse what I would say. But as an “Authentic Presenter” I have never delivered the speech I rehearsed in the car and this day was no different. I tuned into the room and spoke from a more authentic and spontaneous, “in the moment” place. Kind of.  
The meeting went well, but as I drove away I noticed I was feeling a bit “off.” I couldn’t quite place it, but I was quite aware that something was bothering me. What I came to realize what that an old pattern had sneaked up on me and bit me. It was a pattern of being inauthentic.
My ego scoffed. “Inauthentic?! But I’m an Authentic Presenter!” Well, while the words I chose were very spontaneous, the energy on which they rode had clear intention: To be perceived in a specific way. Instead of speaking my truth, I was performing for the audience. It was humorous, animated and effective in describing my work. And in my distant past this would have qualified as an outstanding meeting for me. But I forgot a very important guideline that I set for myself: Don’t just tell people what I do, but show them. I didn’t.
My words were spontaneous, but my intention had a subconscious agenda. The ulterior motive was for me to be perceived in a specifically desired way. And when authenticity is the foundation piece of my business and my philosophy and always my intention, I would call this meeting unsuccessful.
“When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
I wasn’t particularly tired that day but as I reflected on the experience of the meeting I started seeing other areas in my life in which I am being less than completely authentic or even honest with myself. And there were enough of them that by the afternoon I was in a mental/emotional state of what I’ll just call “BLECH.”
At that point I made some conscious choices:

  1. Feel my feelings and allow my emotions to be fully expressed
  2. Understand and accept everything about the triggering event, explore where the same concepts are at work in other areas of my life and recognize the pattern
  3. Release any judgments I was holding against myself
  4. Set clear, positive intentions moving forward

ReceivedThe more conscious I become about the things in my life I want to cultivate and manifest, the more distaste I have for the obstacles or back peddling. And to this point I have had a proclivity for judging myself harshly when I stumble.
In order to be fully received, it is imperative that I release any ideas or concerns about how I am being perceived. As a former marketing/PR guy this has been a challenge for me in the past. But this meeting was a wonderful reminder of the opportunities for healing and change that are available to me. Tina Fey said it best. “There are no mistakes; only opportunities.”
When was the last time you did something that you didn’t think you would ever do again? What was the underlying belief and/or concept at play? In what other areas of your life is that belief/concept still playing out? How will you choose to hold it? Everything that happens is an opportunity for our evolution. And the more we’re willing to look at them through compassionate, inquisitive and understanding eyes, instead of judgmental or condemning ones, the more we uplift ourselves and all of those around us.
It’s your kingdom. Make it REIGN.

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About the Author -

Executive coach and motivational speaker Chris M. King facilitates the mind shift necessary for professionals and organizations to achieve authentic success and empowerment. Clients experience productivity increases of up to 40%, freedom from burnout and overwhelm, clarity in times of transition, dramatically improved work/life balance, answers to "what's next," creative solutions for innovation, and an overall increase in satisfaction in career and in life. And he does all of this without ever giving advice! Chris doesn't show them THE way. He guides them in finding THEIR way. An emerging thought leader in the men's movement, Chris also works with professional men and women on accountability, vulnerability, and empowerment. He specifically addresses the issues associated with mid-life crises and Peter Pan Syndrome. He is a volunteer for ManKind Project International, a contributing author to The Good Men Project and Elephant Journal, and is honored to be working with Sam Morris as a contributor to Zen Warrior Training®, helping people achieve self-mastery. Chris is also a coach at Project Bully Buster, coaching teens as they navigate the challenges of adolescence. He is honored to work with and support organizations dedicated to the men’s movement, to women's issues, and, as brother to a special needs sister, the US Special Olympics. Chris is currently working on his first book.

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